I want to lose my sorrow and be free again.

Oh Mickey How I Miss You

Godspeed Mickey July 4, 1997 - July 3, 2011

The sweetest boy ever. I will miss you more than I can explain. I will miss giving you tummy rubs. I will miss brushing you everyday. I will miss asking you questions and having you answer. I will miss letting you try things from my plate. I will miss your paw on my leg. AND I will never ever ever stop loving you my beautiful boy.

Happy birthday Ma

Today would have been my mother's 85th birthday. She died on May 19, 2010. She was an amazing mother. When I'm down I ask myself "What would Gertie do?" and the answer is always the same - she would pick herself up and get on with life. She loved life.

Isn't it Grand Boys to be Bloody Well Dead

Its my first St. Patrick's Day birthday without my dear mother. Couldn't have imagined doing this but Ma we are going to try and hold up the tradition. It will never be the same without you.

my year of hell continues

i don't think of myself as doomy gloomy but for the past year that's been my life. today i got laid off work. starting over at 52. good luck with that.

everything is broken

my cats, bedroom lamp, microwave, mail box key, kitchen cupboard door, bedroom door, floor in laundry room, hole in wall, mac power supply, shower curtain, back . . . everything is broken

true grit

i didn't blog yesterday. i had work to do then i had supper and a movie with an old friend and her mom. saw true grit. thought the script was amazing. wish i could have understood all of what rooster said. glad there was no wood thrasher. thank you coen brothers.

good news

for the first time in seven months i got some good news yesterday. so unaccustomed to it i didn't know how to respond. i blathered and sputtered and finally the person on the other end of the phone line said "i'll pass along your thanks". indeed.

awake is the new sleep

every january i feel energized. the potential. the empty canvas. only 2010 sucked the life out of me and this january is different. there are so many obstacles from 2010 still to overcome. i feel more afraid than energized.

i'm trying to find hope. this song by ben lee always lifts my heart.

luck

apparently eating black-eyed peas on new year's day is supposed to bring good luck. i've been following this tradition for the last 25 years (or so) and i have no idea if it actually works. it certainly doesn't feel like it does but i'm still doing it 'cause they taste good.

2011 Blues

2011 is going to be another challenging year - i can feel it already. will i be able to pay my bills? will i have a job? will my cats be okay? i worry. i don't sleep. i'm a mess. the one thing that sustains me is art. artistic endeavors of all kinds. visual. performing. i don't care. it's all amazing when it moves me.